DONE!!!

I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. Stick a fork in me, I'm done! I just don't know who I am, what I want, what I don't want etc. What should I expect from my partner? What should I expect from others? I'm usually willing to do favors for others. I don't mind. There are certain things that make me extremely uncomfortable. Babysitting is one of them. I will do this in certain circumstances, but generally I find it torturous. You see, I don't have a very strong sense of self, and what I do have is lost very easily. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have this problem. I have some borderline traits, and some OCD traits. I can't comfortably discuss the specifics, but it's kind of like an ongoing fear thing. Anyway, I'll usually refuse to babysit, and then feel tremendous guilt over refusing. Part of my problem is that I come off as being more together than I actually am. I'm very shaky emotionally, and I don't want to push the envelope. I've fallen apart 3 or 4 times in my life. I don't know if I could make it through another breakdown. I'm not trying to wallow in self-pity or anything, I just want to stay afloat. It's hard to get others to understand, actually it's downright impossible. So here I am, beating myself once again. Here's what I want to say- I will do whatever I can for those I love, just please understand my shortcomings, and don't expect more than I can offer. Please!!!