Acting Out

Question:What makes a middle-aged woman walk down a deserted, dark road crying?
Answer: Despair, craziness, and immaturity. Sometimes I can't get my point across. Usually, I don't know my point. I just know how I feel...horrendous. I know so many of the reasons for my despair. No one really to blame at this point, not even myself. I have no more room for guilt. Certain situations are catalysts. Feeling rejected (real or imagined), feeling helpless, abandoned, whatever. These feelings cause unbearable pain for me, and sometimes I act badly. I like myself even less when I do this, but it seems to relieve some of the pain. Oh yeah, I know there are healthier ways to relieve emotional pain (like blogging). Sometimes the pain is just too much to handle. Tonight was one of those times. So I was once again the infant..the wrinkled old infant. Pretty scary...but just another day in the life. I'll try to do better tomorrow.