Why I Should Drink

I have a malady for which there is no cure. It's a kind of sickness of the soul (if you will). Hey...I've always wanted to use that "if you will" phrase, and now I have! Anyway, my soul is a little ill because it cannot feel its roots. This is only my opinion, but it is the only opinion that I actually "feel". I personally believe that the natural state of all souls is to be loving. I am, of course, not referring to the physical body, with all those needs etc. That makes us all so tired. It clouds everything. I think at our core is pure love and understanding. All too often, I have hurt and anger that keeps me from feeling that basic love. I think its a combination of the genetic flaws of my physical body and how I was molded by my environment. I've worked very hard to change my way of thinking and acting, and to some extent have succeeded. However, there are some wounds that haven't healed and some fears that remain. When I have a drink, the hurt and fear are in the background. I can smile and feel at peace with my environment. I feel loving and happy. There are no more obstacles. This is why I should drink. Why would I not want to feel these things. I don't mean drink until I'm drunk, and I don't mean all the time.
I mean just sometimes, to experience the nice feelings. Well, I've said my piece. Cheers!