Mom

It's been four years since my mom passed away. My dad passed away in 1986. I, like so many of my fellow baby boomers, am an orphan. My mom was the product of a strong, overbearing, mother and a passive father. She was born in Russia, and came to this country in the early 1900's. The family crossed Siberia in covered wagons (two brothers died along the way). They finally ended up at Ellis Island. They were a tough group. In those days they knew nothing of parenting techniques or fostering self-esteem. Women were subservient to men etc., etc.. My mom had some problems. She wanted the best for her kids, but was quite insecure and needy. Sometimes it was pure hell. I was very bitter and resentful during my teenage years, and had loads of problems (still do). You know what ?? It was a good thing. I finally grew up and stopped blaming. I got to know my mother as a fellow adult. We formed a wonderful bond and became friends. She still did her neurotic, needy stuff, and I did mine, but it was ok. Even with my depressions, hospital stays, panic attacks, and other psychological disorders (probably not yet named), I have been fortunate. I can see beyond the surface. Most times, I can look through someone's emotional garbage and find treasures. With my mom, I found gold. I miss you mom!!