A "Not So Beautiful" Mind

I've really been on the old depression/anxiety merry-go-round lately (as if I ever stepped off). I am at the mercy of my crazy mind. My favorite hobby lately is self-torment. I have made it into an art form. If it was an Olympic event, I would have a gold medal. I try say nice things to myself, but I know I'm lying. Every day I tell myself how fortunate I am in so many ways. My big misfortune is being so screwed up. I am not wallowing in self-pity, I am simply assessing my situation. As my very closest friend (now deceased) once said, "Every day is different." Somehow, that makes me feel better. It may be a different kind of torture, but it will change. Strange comfort for a strange mind. Oh well, onward and upward...or maybe sideward. Who knows.