Am I OK??? Hell no!!

I'm pretty old by most standards. Not elderly, but old. However, when I'm really upset I revert to infancy. I know I've written about this before, but it's so disturbing that I must write about it again. We all regress sometimes, especially during periods of extreme stress. Most of us can hide our childishness. Sometimes I can, but sometimes (like today), I can't. I guess it's part of my emotional illness. I'm not using it as an excuse, just a reason. I try not to get to that point, but sometimes it just happens. Today was so stressful, for many reasons. Anyhow the result was me demanding to get out of a car immediately without regard to where I was or what could happen. I had to walk over a long bridge with a very small sidewalk and a low guardrail. Very dangerous, but oh well. I do these things when I feel I've been wronged. They are essentially tantrums, I know this. They're not pretty, especially from an older adult. Really disgusting, but I (the disgusting one) am probably more disgusted than anyone. Funny thing though, I feel wronged and wrong at the same time. It's pure frustration. Anyhow I'm exhausted tonight from my carryings on. I wish I could just behave myself.