Saturday

I'm not going on the planned trip. The decision was both relieving and depressing. I wouldn't have been able to interact well with anyone. It would have just added more stress to my already stressed out system. I am torn between trying to be strong and pampering myself. Last night I was very relieved and almost felt ok. This morning sucks. It's kind of torturous...no, it is torturous. Exhausted feeling, very depressed, burning skin anxiety that at times feels unbearable. I so want to feel better. I try to keep moving. When I sit, the feelings overwhelm me. When I move, I break out into a sweat. I didn't think I could get back to this low level. Surprise, surprise. Later, I will take an abilify. Throw caution to the wind. What the heck.