But My Point Is.........

Try going from being a passive person who basically takes orders to somebody trying to assert themselves. It ain't easy !! Does anyone remember that crazy Woody Allen movie Zelig? It was a pretend documentary about this guy named Leonard Zelig who had no distinctive personality. He always took on the personality of whoever he was with at the time. To make a long story short, his psychiatrist (Mia Farrow) was able to cure him. Of course for awhile he became overly opinionated and would argue about things as trivial as the weather. For instance, he got into a fist fight with someone who said it was a nice day when he thought otherwise. I am a former Zelig. I voice my opinions now, even if they are contrary to others' opinions. Yet, I am still not quite heard. This is because other people have been conditioned to believe I will always obey. When I am assertive, they see me as a disobedient child and become upset with my behavior. I will usually back down at that point because I am filled with so much guilt. That's how I operate. It's a no-win situation for me. I also get accused of not caring if I don't always put my own needs aside for certain significant others. That also sucks. There has to be some kind of balance. I need the balance. I am getting drained and tired.