Worthwhile Reading

I have to admit it, I frequently read the Star and the Enquirer. I can't help it. There is always a certain amount of shame involved when I buy them. I usually place them upside down on the checkout counter (pretending to make the barcodes more accessible to the cashier). It's just so relaxing to read the latest scoop (true or not) about all the celebrities. There are no big words to decipher and there are lots of pictures too! Sometimes, when I'm really desperate for a laugh, I'll buy something even trashier, like The Sun, or The U.S. News. One of the latest headlines was "ALIEN BIBLE FOUND". Guess who these aliens worshipped??? OPRAH. Well..why shouldn't they? One of my favorite stories was the baby born with the Elvis tatoo. I also liked the one about the dog-faced girl with the 200 I.Q. . I guess she had to sacrifice something to be that intelligent. I wonder if there's even one person in the world who would even believe those stories? Even so, I think there will always be a need for these papers. Just read about all the really terrible stuff going on in the world, and then grab a copy of the Sun to see what those wacky aliens are doing.